Worth trying tonight
What to say, word for word
When the boxes come out
“We're taking everything that matters. Your bed, your toys, us. The house stays; the home comes with us.”
Separates house from home. Young children often genuinely don't know which parts are coming along.
“It's okay to feel sad about this room. I'll miss it too.”
Your permission to grieve the old place is what frees them to get curious about the new one.
“Want to say goodbye to your room? You can choose how.”
A chosen farewell gives them agency inside a change they didn't choose.
What's normal at this age
Before anything else: none of this means something is wrong.
Clinginess, sleep wobbles and bigger feelings for a few weeks either side of the move.
Grief for oddly specific things: a doorframe, a crack in the ceiling, the neighbour's cat.
Homesickness surfacing weeks later, once the excitement of the new house fades.
Good moments for this story: When you first tell your child about the move; During the packing process; The last night in the old house; The first week in the new house; When homesickness for the old place surfaces weeks later.
What's actually happening
Moving house sits high on classic childhood stress scales (Coddington, 1972). For a young child, home is a sensory environment tied to safety, routine and identity, not just a building. A temporary rise in clinginess, sadness and disrupted sleep either side of a move is common and expected. What seems to matter most is honest communication: children whose parents talk openly about the move, including the hard parts, tend to find their feet faster than those who only hear the positives.
What parents usually try
Only talking about the positives
"You'll have a bigger room!" is true but dismisses the loss. Children need permission to feel sad about leaving.
Making the move suddenly (packing while they're at school)
Removes the child's sense of agency. Children who help pack and get a proper goodbye tend to feel more in control of the change.
Buying new things to make it exciting
New things don't replace familiar ones. The comfort object from the old room matters more than the new duvet.
What actually helps
Bibliotherapy provides a container for grief. The story character doesn't just move — they say goodbye to specific things in the old house (their corner, their view, their favourite step). This ritualised farewell mirrors what grief therapists recommend for children processing loss (Webb, 2010). Then the character arrives at the new place and discovers something unexpected: not better, just different and worth exploring. The story models that you can be sad about leaving and curious about arriving at the same time.
What your child hears
Your child's character packs a special box of things to bring. They say goodbye to the old house — then discover that the new one has its own secrets worth finding.
Bibliotherapy acknowledges loss before introducing hope. The story doesn't skip the sadness of leaving — it walks through it, so your child can too.
A simple three-night plan
One story, three sittings. No preparation, no printables.
Night one: when you announce it
Play the story the same week you tell them. The character's mixed feelings give theirs a shape.
Night two: the last night
In the old house, make it part of a small goodbye: one last look at their room, one thing they loved about it said out loud.
Night three: the first week
Play it in the new bedroom. Familiar voice, familiar story, new walls. That's the bridge.
Want the story for night one?
A Moving Day Adventurestory with your child's name in it, ready in about two minutes. You read every word before they hear it.
First story free. No credit card needed.
After the story
The conversation afterwards is where a lot of the good happens. Some openers:
- “What will you miss?”
- “What are you excited about?”
- “What special things are coming to your new room?”
Try this together: Pack a special "first night" box together
When a story isn't enough
If withdrawal, sleep trouble or big regressions are still going strong a couple of months after the move, or your child talks about the old house with real distress rather than fondness, a chat with your GP is worthwhile.
The research behind this approach(show)
Therapeutic stories for life transitions like potty training, school anxiety, and new siblings.
- Shechtman, Z. (2009). Treating Child and Adolescent Aggression Through Bibliotherapy. Springer.
- Pardeck, J. T. (1994). Using literature to help adolescents cope with problems. Adolescence.
- Heath, M. A., et al. (2005). Bibliotherapy: A resource to facilitate emotional healing. School Psychology International.